Sunday, December 28, 2008
My delay of entry wasn't because I was to busy celebrating, that I didn't have a chance to update the blog. In fact, it was quite opposite. I received the call from the Dr.'s Office yesterday stating that my test was negative, last time, they informed me that my levels were "less than 1" But not this time, no, no, no, I didn't get the pleasure of even having a number this time, that's right, a big fat ZERO! so basically not a chance on earth that i could possibly be pregnant.
as for plans for the future... who knows? those were are last frozen embryos, and to start fresh again, I am going to need to come up with about 15.000.00$. so if any one has any brilliant ideas, on how to raise money (preferably legally, but if not O-well) or to magically get pregnant, I am up for them! bring it on.
depressed and confused.
Friday, December 26, 2008
I wish for that too.
tomorrow is the big day! my mind is telling me, whatever the outcome, it is what was meant to be. But, my heart is saying PLEASE let this be it!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
We started out with a party at our house with my side of the Family, where Russ served up some of his famous favorite desert, Chocolate Waffles! mmmmm!
Next we had a little Friend get together at Russ' restaurant of choice, which of course was Chili's (he cant pass up on a good burger)
Monday, December 22, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
3 days down, 8 more days till test!
I have officially over-researched this whole thing! I have googled my brains out! and have come up more lost than when I started! it's just amazing to me how many other people are going through this same thing. it's actually kind of depressing. besides m fragile mental state, all is "well" and by "well" I mean, I am feeling nothing! not one little sign that could give me any sort of direction on how I should be feeling. I have put op pictures of the Little embryos all around the house with little thoughts of encouragement written on them, Milo is so cute, he always prays for them in his prayers, he blesses them to "hatch" and "grow big". poor little guy, has had to hear more female medical lingo than most 6 year olds. Russ is being really supportive, he hangs on to the emotional roller coaster that I take the family on everyday. I sometimes think, hmmm, I wonder if he stares at the pictures of our embryos all day, saying to himself "please work, please work, please work" and if he does, is it only because he hates he meltdown that occurs after the big negative? or does he truly want this as much as I do? But I know he really wants more children, I just don't thin k he thought it would be such a struggle and hormonal battle to do so! well guess what... me neither! But We do what we got to do.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
So here they are, my new house guests. I hope to make them feel comfortable, so they will want to nuzzle up for a few months and make a home. The transfer went well today. I was a little anxious when I woke up to the snow this morning, and it doesn't help to have the thought weighing in the back of my mind that this is it! these are the last two frozen embryos we have! But over all I was feeling pretty positive. the only bump in the whole procedure was my bladder! I was told to go in with a full bladder. well once we got there things were a little behind, so by the time that we actually went into the procedure room, I was ready to BURST! so it made it very uncomfortable! I was suppose to lay there for at least 15 minutes after the transfer, but after about 5 minutes, i couldn't take it anymore, I bolted for the bathroom! So despite that little incident, every thing went good. Now all there is to do is keep up on all the shots and pills, and WAIT! simple, right? I will keep an update of the wretched wait. at least I have the holidays to help with my every second obsessing....NOT!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
here's the plan:
- continue taking prenatal vitamin, and baby aspirin.
- get my BMI to at least 19 (7 lbs of fat shouldn't be to hard with thanksgiving tomorrow!)
- No Lupron this time! (since I don't ovulate on my own, there is no point in suppressing my ovaries, so shots in the belly! but still in the butt :( )
- Pray hard that this is what is suppose to happen right now.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
So if ever I needed a miracle.... now is it! BUT, the good news is, I have 2 more frozen little embies left, so we have 1 more chance! (if my body can handle it!)
Wish me luck
Stranger things have happened right?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
and not just my attitude.
only slight "feeling" i felt today, was a little twinge in my belly, kind of like someone kicked me in the stomach, but I only felt it for a split second. Then it was gone. I'm sure it was just your average "feeling" that everyone gets, but because I am on super sensitive, over-analyzer mode, I am taking note of it.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Another BFN!! ya, that's right BIG FREAKIN NEGATIVE!
Now I'm getting a little nervous. I called my sister, she tried to reassure me, it helped a little. It still hasn't even been a whole week... it could change...we will see....tomorrow.
Still NO symptoms! I cant even make any up at this point.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
So after much debate, I talked my self into going to the Dollar store to get a pregnancy test! and one test turned out to be 9 tests, just so I can test everyday till my blood test! The poor kid working the cash register couldn't even make eye contact with me, crazy lady coming through buying the store out of pregnancy tests!
so I RUSHED home, squeezed out enough pee to get 4 drops, dropped them on the little test, and watched, and watched........
OK, I'm fine. really. fine. So maybe its a little early, right? even though other people are getting positives on there HPT's before me. I'm good. I will just test again tomorrow. no big deal.
Who am I kidding? I'm a little annoyed.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Saturday, November 8, 2008
NOTHING! I feel nothing! besides on day 1 feeling the dizzy effects of the Valium, I now feel ZIP. Good? bad? I have no clue?
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
this transfer day was a little bit different from the last time, since last time I was suffering from OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) so I was more relaxed this time and kind of nervous too, because we had no Idea till we got there if the Embryos were going to "thaw" and survive!
I had made this little shirt that said "Welcome Home" I thought if I wore it, it would be good "mojo" or something... I'll try anything!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
can you even belive how WARM it was this year!? I was able to wear flip flops, and short sleeves all night!
Getting ready to go Trick-or-treating!
I cant believe we are here....AGAIN....SO SOON! only 9 months after the delivery of our last (successful) IVF, we have decided to just "go for it" we don't like the idea of another 6 year gap between children, so while we are "in" the baby mode, we are just going to try. I mean how hard could it be? right? WRONG!
Here's our process:
Birth control pills to start things rolling or should I say "flowing" :)
followed with, prenatal vitamins, baby aspirin, and estrodial twice a day.
lurpon shots in the belly every day till my lining becomes thick and comfy.
Then the dreaded Progesterone in Oil (better known as PIO) or as I like to call it PIA (pain in the A**.... Literally!) Hubby "gets" to give me this tender loving shot in the hip every night for a possibility of 11 weeks! ( oh, I can only hope!)
Transferring 2 of our 4 frozen Blastocyst embryos back into my cushy warm uterus, or as I hope they call it "home"
THEN comes the WORST, The 2 week wait! I hate this part! I wish they could put me in some medically induced coma, and wake me after the pregnancy test (only if it is positive, of course)
going in to get the blood test.... I'm nauseous just thinking about it.
Now just to clarify, I am documenting this for my own entertainment, but I have found so much comfort in searching and reading others story's, that I decided not to make this a private blog, so if I say something offensive or disturbing to you.... That's your problem! I'm a hormonal MESS right now! I am not liable for any actions, during this process.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Everyone is so happy to have dead deer laying on the front lawn! nothing calls for a family photo opp like dead rotting animals.