12dp2dt

total shock.
Beta 271





POSITIVE!





I cant even believe it! I had absolutely no symptoms or indications that i could even be pregnant! I was SURE that this was a bust! I was calculating how many more semesters of student loans I would have to get before I could try next time! I had researched all over the Internet to try and find someone who had no symptoms and still came out with a positive beta... let me tell ya, there were slim pickins' so this post will be for those who googled "no symptoms BFP" or "no symptoms positive beta" because that's me! OK. now I'm just rambling, I am so excited and shocked! really.

Beta Eve

twas the night before beta

and all through my body,

not a creature was stirring,

not even the three potential babies in my belly.

OK, you get where I'm going with this....

Tomorrow is the big day! I have not taken a home test yet, out of pure fear that once I see a negative it is over! so I am going to leave my fate to the nurse who dares call me tomorrow to give me my results. I really don't "feel" anything! i have a backache, but I am sure that is due to all the packing I have been doing for our move this Saturday. so now I will just try to be calm, think positive thoughts, remain hopeful and try not to freak out too much!

here we go!

if you pray... now is the time to do it!

5dp2dt

So I'm a little down today, in more ways than one. I have been felling pretty large in the belly with hyperstimulation which on one hand was a bummer because it was very uncomfortable but I was told by the nurses, that that could be a good sign because hyperstimulation symptoms worsen with pregnancy, and my last successful in-vitro I had it and, well, it worked! so although the hyperstimulaton wasn't something I would wish on anyone, it gave me a little hope that this was going to work this time. Well, ANYWAY, I woke up this morning and my stomach size and dramatically decreased!? like really! by like 4 inches! so now although I am not one to complain about a shrinking waistline... I am complaining!!! I feel like all hope is lost right now because wouldn't it get worse if my body was putting out pregnancy hormones right now? maybe I am just over analyzing the whole thing. Russ told me today as I was venting to him about this "it's ok. you still look pregnant to me." thanks?

orange sized ovaries

So I went in to get an ultrasound today just to make sure that my bloated belly was not to dangerous, and everything checked out OK, there was definitely fluid in there, but not a harmful amount. However! the Dr. informed me that my ovaries are the size of ORANGES! so that explains why I look like I am 6 months pregnant! and why I feel like my back is breaking! he also said that the blister on my belly button (which is now totally bruised all around it) is due to the pressure of my insides pushing outward. whenever I leave the house and go out in public I fear that someone is going to ask me how far along I am! I probably feel alot bigger than I actually look...maybe?

no other significant changes. I am 4dp2dt and I have felt a few cramping twinges tonight, maybe implantation? i can hope!

3dp2dt

This is weird....
I have this weird blood blister thing on the INSIDE of my belly button? i have tried to google it, and see if anyone else has experienced something like this and found nothing!? so if any fellow IVF-ers out there have heard of anything like this please do tell! I think i will call Dr. Marrs tomorrow and see if he knows anything about this!

Other than that... I am still really full in the belly and VERY sore in the ovaries and back! i feel a little nauseous at times but i think that is due to my belly being full of fluid and large ovaries?

I am still very emotional, but a little optimistic? just a little. I asked Auggie today if he wanted mommy to have more babies and he said "ya" and then i asked how many? and he said "two" (two being the only number he knows right now.... but we can just think that he really knows the future of our family right?) and then i said are they girls or boys? and he said "kitties!" (and proceeded to meow like a cat) so maybe he doesn't know as much as i think he did? good times.

I am very thankful for all the distractions going on this week. Tomorrow is Russ' birthday! and then we have all the exciting Christmas events the rest of the week! and then the Big blood test on the 29th!

easy.
right?

1dp2dt

(one day past two day transfer)

Can you say emotional wreck? we have decided not to freeze the remaining embryos. we weighed out our options and due to the last two failed frozen cycles we felt that if this doesn't work this time, we would probably want to do another fresh cycle and not waste our money on another frozen which our Dr said would be a much lower success rate than a fresh cycle. this was a very hard decision for us. but i feel like it is our way of saying "OK, Lord, we are putting our complete faith in this and trust that if this is whats meant to be for us right now, then so be it!" this is not the easiest decision to make while you are pumping your body full of extra hormones.

I am trying really hard to stay in my bed for the full 36 hours that they suggested for the bed rest. (besides going to see Milo's Christmas program at school...who could resist!?) this is an extremely difficult thing for me to do! i can see things lying on the floor, and can just imagine how exciting it would be to pick them up and vacuum some nice clean lines into the carpet! HEAVEN!!! but, no. because with everyone of those thoughts comes the thought of "would that be worth jeopardizing the growth of our three potential children?!" NO. it would not. so I lie here, switching from side to side because if i lay on my back then the weight of all the fluid in my abdomen causes me to feel super nauseous and ill. and i go through moments of fear, what if this doesn't work this time? and i am lying here sobbing thinking of how i will take the news if it is negative, and on the other hand i get really excited thinking about the possibility of adding more children to our future! and i cry over that as well! so basically i cry all day long! and poor Russ. bless his heart. he really is doing well at juggling his job, school, the kids and the worlds most emotional wife all at the same time! I am so blessed to have such a supportive group of Friends and family to help me through this. THANK YOU!

whats new?

All of our time, energy and money has pretty much been focused on this

(oh ya, and finals too!)

3's a crowd

so the embryo transfer is complete, the Valium has slowly wore off and i am lying here in bed with my stomach full of fluid (due to hyper stimulation) and full of embryos (3 to be exact!) now i just wait.... and wait...and wait.... I have vowed to myself to no get out of bed at all this time (except to use the bathroom) so i am going to have Russ get me some movies and have a mini movie marathon here in my bed. everything went better than i even imagined at the transfer today! i am feeling very hopeful that at least ONE of those little embryos can stick!







please



please



please



say this works this time.

Big Day!

So tomorrow is the big Egg Retrieval day! I am so anxious I cant even stand it! we know now that I have a TON of follicles (around 60!) but the big question is, how many of those have good eggs in them? we will find out tomorrow! then hopefully the 2 best ones will go back in on Thursday!

I heart needles in my stomach

So, I got an ultrasound and hormone blood work on Wednesday, and they said they everything looked good, so we are OK to start all the stimulation medication now! they said I have a TON of follicles so far (like over 30!) so hopefully all these shots I am doing now will help all those follicles grow into big strong eggs! I had forgotten how bad the bravelle stings as it is going in! OUCH! o-well, it will all be worth it in the end.... i hope. I go back in on Monday to get another ultrasound and Blood work till then I will just continue to stab my self in the stomach every night! hooray for me!

Starting Over

here I am again... back on the in-vitro roller coaster! which is both exciting and terrifying. we are starting from square one again since we had no more frozen embryos left :( However we are using a different Dr. this time (Dr. Marrs and Dr. Richards) they have great success rates, so we are very hopefull this time! I am currently on the lurpon injections right now and am hoping to start the bravelle injections the first week of December! which would mean the Egg retrieval would be sometime around December 12th or 13th! that seems so far away! hopefully it goes by fast with all the holidays coming up! wish me luck!

MiLo'S 7th BiRtHDaY!

Look at this sweet little baby! I cant believe he is 7 now! time has gone by so fast! we used to call this his "Tommy boy" face. He would smile really big and pull his chin back, and get all... chubby! and he had some CRAZY hair! he still is just as sweet as he was when he was a baby.

we started the day off right with Milo's favorite Birthday breakfast! which consisted of hash browns sausage and bacon and dutch babies (aka Swedish pancakes in mini muffin tins) mmmmm mmmmm!

This year all Milo wanted for his birthday was his room to be redone, so we gave him a little older room by painting it and adding a few new things and cool posters to it. He was really specific on the colors we could use and he really wanted under his loft bed to be an art studio! he was thinking that when kids came over they could purchase his art work, and that way he can earn money! what a great idea! LOVE IT!

The next day he had a luau/pool party with some Friends and family. It was tons of fun and as usual way to much food! but it was a great wrap up of Milo's Big Birthday Weekend! WE LOVE YOU MILO! HaPpy BiRThDaY!!!

I just had to throw in this picture of Auggie relaxing in Milo's new chair! he is so jealous of his big
brothers new room!

Summertime...

Bike Rides! we LOVE going on bike rides right now! Auggie likes to grab the back of my hair and pull on it, OUCH! Milo is such a good little rider, he loves to try and do jumps off the curb.

First Zucchini of the season! We have a garden at Nana and Papas house. It is amazing to see everything grow so fast!

Auggie's shoe fascination... Aug is obsessed with putting every ones shoes on, but I think these ones are my favorite! heels really do help the legs look more slender!

This is what you get when you you leave two bored boys with a roll of tape!

... And of course Aug had to see what all the fun was about!

Shirt off, outside, getting messy.... pretty much sums up our summer so far!

2nd Annual Shabby Chic Boutique

we are doing a Boutique this next week at the PG Villas Clubhouse

You must come to see all the cute thing we will have...

Baby Bling Bows, Super cute Little girl dresses made by the talented Nicole Miller, Glitter Toes, Vintage Earings, So Watch Yourself Watches, Freeze Dry Food Storage, Tasty Treats, Designer Hats, Jewlery and much more!!!

You have to come to see all this Amazing Stuff! Hope to see you there!

Video for Cyndi made by Rusty

Family Pictures!!

We finally got our much needed family pictures taken, by the oh so talented Tif!

She did such a fabulous job! there are so many cute ones to chose from, that I just posted A ton! thanks Tif!

Fresh Start

Today we went and met with a new Dr. We just felt like we needed a fresh start, a second opinion, a new plan. the consultation went amazingly well. The Dr. was VERY personable, and took alot of time explaining every little detail with us (2 whole hours!) He and his partner are very knowledgeable in the field of infertility and have amazing success rates in achieving pregnancy through IVF. And to top it all off, it is WAY less expensive than at our previous clinic! However, it is still going to cost us around 9,000 dollars, so we are going to have to seek out ways to earn some extra cash... But if all goes well, which I am sure it will if this is what is suppose to happen, then we can hopefully proceed with Another IVF sometime this April or May! This gets me excited to think about, I know that may sound hard to believe, excitement for Shots, ultrasounds, blood draws, the horrid egg retrieval, and the dreaded 2 week wait? But I just feel this is suppose to happen. I don't know why, or how? but I have a good feeling about this.