Friday, December 18, 2009


(one day past two day transfer)

Can you say emotional wreck? we have decided not to freeze the remaining embryos. we weighed out our options and due to the last two failed frozen cycles we felt that if this doesn't work this time, we would probably want to do another fresh cycle and not waste our money on another frozen which our Dr said would be a much lower success rate than a fresh cycle. this was a very hard decision for us. but i feel like it is our way of saying "OK, Lord, we are putting our complete faith in this and trust that if this is whats meant to be for us right now, then so be it!" this is not the easiest decision to make while you are pumping your body full of extra hormones.

I am trying really hard to stay in my bed for the full 36 hours that they suggested for the bed rest. (besides going to see Milo's Christmas program at school...who could resist!?) this is an extremely difficult thing for me to do! i can see things lying on the floor, and can just imagine how exciting it would be to pick them up and vacuum some nice clean lines into the carpet! HEAVEN!!! but, no. because with everyone of those thoughts comes the thought of "would that be worth jeopardizing the growth of our three potential children?!" NO. it would not. so I lie here, switching from side to side because if i lay on my back then the weight of all the fluid in my abdomen causes me to feel super nauseous and ill. and i go through moments of fear, what if this doesn't work this time? and i am lying here sobbing thinking of how i will take the news if it is negative, and on the other hand i get really excited thinking about the possibility of adding more children to our future! and i cry over that as well! so basically i cry all day long! and poor Russ. bless his heart. he really is doing well at juggling his job, school, the kids and the worlds most emotional wife all at the same time! I am so blessed to have such a supportive group of Friends and family to help me through this. THANK YOU!


Romney Family said...

OH My heart just goes out to you guys!! YOu guys are so strong and you all are in my thoughts and prayers!!!

LaDonna and Ben said...

Cyndi, I want to be there with you to vacuum your floor for you and hang out. You guys have no idea how much we love you.

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