Next step...

So we met with the Dr. on Monday, it went VERY well. (well as good as it can go, with someone telling you since your last feble attempt to have children failed, so you only have one more chance at doing a "Cheaper"frozen cycle.) Anywho... We are able to give it another try in just 3 weeks! I was afraid that I might have to wait, but with this news, i get a little excited at the thought of being able to try again..Now! Although it was a little frustrating that there were no answers for the last failed transfer, I am hopeful this time. I have a brighter understanding that things will "work-out" I don't know how, but it will.

here's the plan:

- continue taking prenatal vitamin, and baby aspirin.
- get my BMI to at least 19 (7 lbs of fat shouldn't be to hard with thanksgiving tomorrow!)
- No Lupron this time! (since I don't ovulate on my own, there is no point in suppressing my ovaries, so shots in the belly! but still in the butt :( )
- Pray hard that this is what is suppose to happen right now.

Moving on...

The final verdict came back... Negative. They like to see your level be at 100 or more to consider it a positive test. Well mine was "less than 1" What the! I mean not even a little chance! it was kind of a hard day yesterday. I mean I knew it would be negative from all the home tests I took, But I guess in the back of my head I was kind of hoping for a miracle. And to go from consuming my every waking thought to taking the pills, suppositories, shots, Over and over again, timing it just right every day, to one phone call and STOP! just quit all the stuff you have been doing to your body to hold on to the little guys, and do nothing? So I am getting better. I will move on. I will try again. and it could happen again. We will meet with the Dr. on Monday, and discuss our next plan of attack for our final two embryos... here we go again.

tommorow's the big day....

So I go in tomorrow morning for the official blood test. But, I am pretty sure, that 15 home pregnancy tests are pretty accurate. I am really just glad, i am going in knowing that it is going to come back negative, so it wont be a big shocker when they call with the results tomorrow afternoon.

So if ever I needed a miracle.... now is it! BUT, the good news is, I have 2 more frozen little embies left, so we have 1 more chance! (if my body can handle it!)

Wish me luck

Stranger things have happened right?

8dp5dt

NEGATIVE.

and not just my attitude.

only slight "feeling" i felt today, was a little twinge in my belly, kind of like someone kicked me in the stomach, but I only felt it for a split second. Then it was gone. I'm sure it was just your average "feeling" that everyone gets, but because I am on super sensitive, over-analyzer mode, I am taking note of it.

7dp5dt

lets just get this over with......


Another BFN!! ya, that's right BIG FREAKIN NEGATIVE!


Now I'm getting a little nervous. I called my sister, she tried to reassure me, it helped a little. It still hasn't even been a whole week... it could change...we will see....tomorrow.

Still NO symptoms! I cant even make any up at this point.

A Little Crazy....

So I have done WAY to much searching on the Internet. I have talked my self (and my sister!) into testing EARLY!!! this is a major NO, NO! what if it is negative, and I get all down and depressed for the next week (depressed? who me? never.) what if it says positive but it is a false positive? what to do, what to do? Last time I held strong. I waited out the whole two weeks and only did the blood test! I must have been crazy! But I don't know what it is about this time? I just am feeling really negative, and so I feel like I need to test so I can pre-warn the person who has to call me with the negative result. Waugh Waugh (Debbie downer here.)


So after much debate, I talked my self into going to the Dollar store to get a pregnancy test! and one test turned out to be 9 tests, just so I can test everyday till my blood test! The poor kid working the cash register couldn't even make eye contact with me, crazy lady coming through buying the store out of pregnancy tests!

so I RUSHED home, squeezed out enough pee to get 4 drops, dropped them on the little test, and watched, and watched........







till......






NEGATIVE!


OK, I'm fine. really. fine. So maybe its a little early, right? even though other people are getting positives on there HPT's before me. I'm good. I will just test again tomorrow. no big deal.


Who am I kidding? I'm a little annoyed.

4dp5dt

OK so I woke up this morning with heartburn!? could it be a sign of pregnancy or just a memory of the nachos I had at 10:00 last night? we will see......

Days 1,2,3dp5dt

If you can understand the title to my post, then you have probaly experinced some sort of infertility stuggle in life (sorry.) But if you cant, it stands for "Days Past 5 Day Transfer" and the signifigance of that is I need to wait till 14dp5dt to get the official blood test! whew this is going to be a long 2 weeks!

DAYS 1,2,3,


NOTHING! I feel nothing! besides on day 1 feeling the dizzy effects of the Valium, I now feel ZIP. Good? bad? I have no clue?

Transfer day!

this transfer day was a little bit different from the last time, since last time I was suffering from OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) so I was more relaxed this time and kind of nervous too, because we had no Idea till we got there if the Embryos were going to "thaw" and survive!

I had made this little shirt that said "Welcome Home" I thought if I wore it, it would be good "mojo" or something... I'll try anything!

Well after arriving we were told the thawing went perfectly and two of our 4 blastocyst embroys were ready to be transferred! then the feeling kind of hit like "oh, shoot, do we really want to do this!?"....Well of course we do! they took us into the procedure room and there is a very calm and peacful feeling there, they dim the lights and its really quiet. Then one of the technichians came into the rom and showed us the picture of our little embryos (which looked very different from last time, different as in, not as good. But we think they are beautiful and love them no matter what.) they proceeded with the transfer, and then we layed there for about 30 min (ok, iI really dont know how long it was because I was so sleepy from the valium!)

now, we WAIT.

Halloween 2008

WHAT TIME IS IT?!...

Is that Troy Bolton?

So Milo decided that this year he wanted to be (after seeing HSM3) Troy Bolton For Halloween. which was fine with me, because it was a super easy costume to put together!

Our only problem is getting the Paint color put of his hair now!...any suggestions?

Auggie was a cute little froggy this year so actually he was a "FR-AUGGIE" :)

"We're all in this together..." (sing along if you would like...)

The perfect couple... Darth and Pochahontas.

Auggie was loving Russ in this mask!

can you even belive how WARM it was this year!? I was able to wear flip flops, and short sleeves all night!


Getting ready to go Trick-or-treating!

Happy Froggy!

This was also this year at our Neighborhood halloween party, Does'nt Auggie make the cutest little girl?!

Here we go Again.....

IVF #2

I cant believe we are here....AGAIN....SO SOON! only 9 months after the delivery of our last (successful) IVF, we have decided to just "go for it" we don't like the idea of another 6 year gap between children, so while we are "in" the baby mode, we are just going to try. I mean how hard could it be? right? WRONG!

Here's our process:

Birth control pills to start things rolling or should I say "flowing" :)

followed with, prenatal vitamins, baby aspirin, and estrodial twice a day.

lurpon shots in the belly every day till my lining becomes thick and comfy.

vaginal suppositories twice a day up the cha cha (isn't that a pleasant image?)

Then the dreaded Progesterone in Oil (better known as PIO) or as I like to call it PIA (pain in the A**.... Literally!) Hubby "gets" to give me this tender loving shot in the hip every night for a possibility of 11 weeks! ( oh, I can only hope!)

Transferring 2 of our 4 frozen Blastocyst embryos back into my cushy warm uterus, or as I hope they call it "home"

THEN comes the WORST, The 2 week wait! I hate this part! I wish they could put me in some medically induced coma, and wake me after the pregnancy test (only if it is positive, of course)

going in to get the blood test.... I'm nauseous just thinking about it.

Now just to clarify, I am documenting this for my own entertainment, but I have found so much comfort in searching and reading others story's, that I decided not to make this a private blog, so if I say something offensive or disturbing to you.... That's your problem! I'm a hormonal MESS right now! I am not liable for any actions, during this process.